EXTRA!

The Flat Tire Staff

KAILUA-The State levied a substantial fine on a local developer for not meeting regulations which require art to be installed at new buildings.
One per cent of the cost of construction must go toward installed artwork according to the State Foundation on Culture and the Arts. "Obviously, the amount spent on the artwork does not match the total cost of the structure," said a State official who did not wish to be named. "The State has a broad definition of what art is, but this obviously is not it."
Nathan Franks, owner of the new building defended the artwork. "The artist put a lot of time and thought into his installation. I visited his studio once, and littered with empty beer cans as it was, watching him work was certainly a revelation."
When asked to comment on the theme of the alleged art Franks said, "It represents the struggle between the industrialized machine and humanity. While very complex, this struggle can be represented by nuts and bolts. So simple it's sublime."
Franks declined to put a price on the artwork or name the artist. "The State just doesn't seem understand Minimalism."
The official disagreed. "Looks like they just forgot to put something there."