Well the you know what hit the proverbial fan.
Poor Lance Armstrong.
I mean poor rich Lance Armstrong.
Caught up in his own web, so to speak.
Well now he's banned for like forever and now no one actually won them seven Tours.
I mean you can't exactly give the Yellow Jersey to number two, cause who knows who was juicing?
I gotta admit, the list of folks accusing and admitting is pretty long and now that they all turned Floyd on him it's difficult not to start believing that the doping and the juicing were really going on.
Boy, I'd like to get my hands on some EPO.
For clinical use of course.
Not that it would help me any.
If you know what I mean.
Anyways, the thing is: who cares?
Okay, I suppose there are some folk who'd like to know how he got away with it for all them years and after all them tests, but besides that, who really gives a you know what?
I suppose some may feel a bit let down, okay, I sort of do, but in the back of my mind I mean really, he wasn't doping?
Like he beat all them other doping juicing folks without doping and juicing too?
I'm telling you, once I saw that clip of "the Look" and how he rode away from Ulrich and everyone going freakin up hill, I mean seriously, that's just not natural.
The way I look at it, it's like NASCAR.
It ain't cheating unless you get caught.
He got caught.
I mean he got caught like way after the fact.
The American thing to do is to just put an asterisk after his name.
Hell put an asterisk after that whole era why don't you.
Send some UCI dude over to Lance's house with a Sharpie and put a big ole asterisk on all seven of his yellow jerseys so that every time someone comes over he'll have to explain that he won, but it was during "that era."
So it counts, but it don't count.
Sort of like kissing your sister, except that don't count.
Kissing your sister I mean.
Besides, what are supposed to do with them jerseys anyway?
I guess you could use them to wash your bicycle, especially since you aren't getting no freebies anymore.
Maybe you can use them to dust off your shelves after you take down all the pictures and awards cause looking at em makes you want to do evil things.
Send them off to USADA, maybe they got some kind of special shredder that makes mulch out of pictures and jerseys and Olympic medals.
Anyways for me, it's like whatever.
The dude doped, the dude won them Tours.
I mean he still had to get on a bicycle and ride.
It's not like he hopped off, caught a bus and jumped back on his bicycle at the finish.
Well okay, Lance won all them Tours, but he's no winner.
If you know what I mean.