No, Not Yet

First of all, you guys are crazy!
I mean really.
No way was I even thinking of Electronical Italian Goodness.
Okay, not really.
I did think about it, if only to wonder how much it was going to be.
Athena EPS at least might be in my ball park.
Then again, it may not.
Be in my ball park I mean.
Though if you, the reader, have been following along at home, you know that the ball park around here is pretty large.
Especially if it's bicycle blingness.
So anyways, today the FedEx person stopped by!

Hey waittaminute!
This box is kinda small.
Way small!
I mean it's like smaller than a breadbox and I was hoping for something a bit larger.
If you know what I mean.
So what could this be?
Okay, I jest.
Stuff like this is tracked via the Flat Tire Secret Consumer Goods Command Center(FTSCGCC), with high tech over the horizon radar and Xray machines and GPS tracking devices:

So I already knew what it was.
Or what it wasn't.
What it wasn't is still being prepared by Hobbits wearing anti static cover-alls and booties on their shoes breathing canned oxygen and nitrogen.
Special goats were sacrificed for the kid gloves and the Hobbits wear hair nets so they look like they are serving lunch in the school cafeteria.
By the way, school lunch is one of the reasons I became a teacher and today we had spaghetti.
Oh yeah.
I'm also kidding about the goats.
Maybe.
I mean I got brushes with squirrel hair so maybe them gloves are actually made from kids.
You know, small goats.
So anyways, I'm still a waiting, waiting for the Electronical Goodness that should be here next week.
No it doesn't shift 11 gears in one fell swoop, though for what I paid I might expect it to.
Shift my bicycle gears I mean.
No, what's coming is a new dawn, a new beginning for things over here at The Flat Tire.
Oh yeah baby, things are a changing.