Saturday, April 24, 2010

Into the Abyss

I didn't even remember doing it.
I mean I remember, I just forgot.
Or maybe I wanted to forget.
Then it arrived.
Admittedly, I was a bit embarrassed.
I mean just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I pull one out of my hat.
The reasoning behind it was my presta valve caps kept breaking:

I guess I was screwing them on too tight or something and the tops kept breaking off.
So one night a couple of weeks ago(I'm guessing) the evilness overcame me and I apparently ordered these:

First of all, I blame whoever it was that decided to make machined anodized presta valve stem caps. I mean if no one bothered to make them, I wouldn't have had to purchase them.
Now normally, I wouldn't even bother to mention such a small acquisition. They are just two little caps after all. I don't remember how much they cost; I'm guessing it was somewhere in the range of a Whopper Meal.
I do feel compelled to mention them though.
Well, after examining them for about ten minutes and admiring the knurled finished and lovely color(matches my wheels!), it suddenly dawned on me how absurd this bicycle bling thing has become.
Valve stem caps!
I had actually bought valve stem caps!
I held my two precious decorations in my hand, slumped back on the couch and let out a large sigh.
The truth really does hurt.
I had finally gone off the deep end.
Yes friends, I have stared into the abyss and become the abyss.
I got off the couch and installed them on my wheels.
There was no joy, no sense of content or accomplishment. I just took off the old caps and put the new ones on.
Depression began to set in.
I mean I had sunk pretty low.
I sat there and shook my head in disgust.
Well, like all things, there is a bright side!
Looking at my eBay watched items, I suddenly realized that after the valve stem caps, how could anything else I get be considered frivolous?
I have inadvertently set a new standard!
Now those titanium fasteners, anodized chain stay bolts and red zip ties are elevated to needy/useful status.
Okay, maybe not the red zip ties.
Those red valve stem caps have released me!
Nothing I purchase for my bike will ever, ever match the uselessness of those caps!
In fact, everything else will be easily justified.
Well, maybe not the red anodized cable ends. That would sheer madness.
I'm not quite there.
Anyways, tomorrow is the big day.
Moi and my knurled red anodized valve stem caps will be tackling the Haleiwa Metric Century Ride. Waves are up on the North Shore so hopefully I'll get some nice images.
Tomorrow is also a landmark day for another reason.
Stay tuned for a very Special Edition.
Okay, maybe not so special.
I mean not as special as those valve stem caps.

No comments: