Septembre, The Hll

Au revoir aout!
Hopefully goodbye to this expansion in my head that causes the nose to leak uncontrollably!
September and that means, wait for it.
Yes!
The Honolulu Century Ride!
Boy.
Oh boy.
The thing is, I'm supposed to be in heavy training right now in preparation for this thing.
Not sitting at home, watching Law & Order.
Though watching Law & Order is a good thing, don't get me wrong, I'm supposed to be racking up some major miles and tackling some insane hills.
Okay, maybe not the insane hills part.
Not to worry though, I have a back up plan.
I'm just not going to do the whole thing.
Okay, that's the wussy thing to do I know.
I have to work myself up to the whole hundred miles don't you know.
Actually, the fact is that I've already ridden half the course twice this year and the motivation to do the whole thing just isn't there.
In fact, I rode the major part of the course twice, once on my Eastside Epic Adventure.
So the plan is to start off like everyone else, and since the ride goes by The Flat Tire Central, not go all the way back!
How deceptively simple!
Start like everyone else, and end up and home!
How convenient.
If the weather is nice, I'm gonna try to hammer out seventy five miles for I've never been out to the turnaround point, at least not going this way.
I've been to the turnaround when I did the Haleiwa Metric back in April so this will just sort of cap off a Tour de Windward.
In two legs.
Five months apart.
If you catch my drift.
Anyways, I'm supposed to be doing some insane hills for on the ride there is one insane hill I've never climbed all at once.
Locally known as "Heartbreak Hill," I call it the Hill of Thermonuclear Quad Implosion.
I've actually only tried it twice and both times I've had to pull off on the side street about three quarters of the way up to recover.
So me and the Hill of the Holy Mother of Pain and Self Depreciation has some unfinished business.
It's pretty long, I would guess a good third of a mile.
Okay, that's not very long except that it goes like straight up:



My brother, the former triathlete, trained on it all the time so he takes it with a compact double.
I can't even do the Hill of Everlasting Lactic Acid with a triple.
A mountain triple.
Okay, I rock a road cassette, but still, if I can't climb on a 20/23, I should really consider giving this up.
One time, I watched the Tin Man trialthalon folks climbing the Hill of Who's Idea Was This and saw, I swear, old women climb it while still in high gear!
Talk about demoralizing.
So anyways, this month, once I get back on the bike, the focus will be improving the climbing skills.
Moi and the Hill of the Exploding Heart are gonna get it on!