EXTRA!

The Flat Tire Staff

HONOLULU-In an unprecedented move the Department of Education today declared the sky off limits to all public education students. A statement issued this morning by the DOE read: "Due to the budget restrictions, the Department has regretfully decided not to allow students to reach for the stars or shoot for the Moon. This new policy unfortunately means the sky is no longer the limit."
When asked if this new policy was temporary or permanent, a department spokesperson said "we hope this is only temporary, but if it becomes long term, students will just have to learn to achieve less."