Tuesday, May 11, 2010

They're Magically Delicious!

Also evil.
Oh, so evil.
Recently, I've been having a weight problem again.
It has become the norm that when school is in, my eating habits go south and I pick up some unneeded pounds.
Pounds with a capital P.
Kilos with a capital K.
You get the idea.
Try as I might, I just cannot seem to elude Temptation.
Temptation you see, lurks everywhere.
It hides in the shadows, follows you around until you must surrender to it's evil wiles.
Temptation and the Devil it seems, can also bake:

It's not too difficult for me to imagine ole Temptation(not to be confused with THE Temptations) and the Devil(Daniel Webster version) going at it in some hollowed out tree, mixing, molding and baking. They probably dust each others noses with enriched flour and laugh maniacally as their evil concoctions mature in the heat.
That's right, the Devil can bake.
The proof is right here:

Bite sized morsels of macadamia nut embedded mounds of mouth watering flaky goodness.
Or badness.
Depends on what side of the scale you are on.
Evil little things that dare you to indulge just once.
Is it possible?
I think not!
They Devil himself baked them don't you know.
Created by hand with sinful intent, they call you, cajole you, implore you to hit that well again and again and again.
Did I tell you they're magical?
Now you see them, now you don't:

Where did they go?
Those impish wafers with mysterious powers.
See them here!
Then they are gone!
In a flash!
Leaving only remnants and crumbs of guilt to taunt and mock.
Oh the poor soul who should get caught in this confectionery net.
Heed my advice!
Beware of kids hawking these exotic implements of weight gain. They will tell woeful tales of opportunity and adventure, but believe them not! They are peddlers of misfortune and guilt laden misery.
Hear my tale old friend and go not where I have been.
For once you have opened that box of Pandora's, it cannot be closed.
Only emptied.
Then the frantic search begins.
The search to satiate the infernal cravings of a soul abducted by the Devil and his Magic Cookies.

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