"Why yes, I'm looking for a bicycle, something to just maybe ride to the store with, you know, with a rack on the back and maybe a front basket."
"Yes sir! I know just what you mean."
"Right! Something like this bicycle right here."
"Uh, excuse me sir, but that's a woman's bike."
"Oh! Hrrumph! not that one, this one."
Women specific bikes.
Just what are they?
Where did they come from?
Where did they go?
Maybe the greatest bicycle scam of the modern era.
Or maybe the greatest thing since sliced bread.
We're not sure.
All we're sure of is there are women specific models out there.
Some, like Trek's line of WSD bikes, could easily mistaken for a real man's bike if not for the parts designed for a woman:
Trek is a bit vague on just what parts they are.
Maybe it's a secret.
I looked and looked but found nothing resembling a flower or butterfly and even the paint job looks sort of masculine.
Unlike Specialized, who decorates their women specific bikes appropriately:
Big S had tribal designs on their mountain bikes and viney flowery thingys on their female bikes. Specialized also uses women specific tubing.
Whatever that is.
Now I gotta be honest here, if it fits and the pedals turn, I will ride it.
Okay, not really.
Not if it has butterflies.
Like Dirty Harry said,"A man's gotta know his limitations."
I don't know about you, but I ain't messing with Dirty Harry:
Just a minute here Mr. Flat Tire, what about all them step through bikes?
Ah yes, the step through.
Real men ride step throughs:
Okay, that's not a real he man on a step through, that's Ellen Page but I think Ellen Page is hot so that pic will just have to do.
The thing is if you really think about it, that is supposed to be a man's bike.
I mean men, real men have got some pretty valuable things that can be traumatized by the impact on the typical top tube of a regular bike.
Don't think so?
Stand over height is just not for breakfast anymore.
Whatever that means.
I'll bet there are mountain bikers out there who wished a top tube was not part of bicycle design.
At least not for men.
So how is it that most folks ride regular bikes, and women got the bikes that were supposed to be designed for men?
Latins have a word for it, it's called machismo.
We English speakers have a word for it too, stupidity.
Yes, the Flat Tire Investigative Team has discovered that for years, men have been fooled into thinking chick bikes were for well, chicks.
Besides, if your bike has a rear rack and you got a manly six pack strapped to it, a step through allows you to mount your ride properly.
None of this leaning over and swinging a lycra clad leg over the seat.
No matter how cool and refreshing that may feel, it's just awkward.
On the other hand, maybe a top tube is just a clever Darwinian design.
I'll be this dude wished he was on Becky's bike:
2 comments:
If you were hand building a bike from sticks and string I imagine the strongest design would be with a top tube. Construction has moved far beyond that however so now we can be more practical and artistic.
If a horse could be designed without a top tube I would probably still ride them.
Top tubes are a secret plot to reduce population in the Democratic Free World.
Yes, that must be it.
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