Saturday, October 22, 2011

I Have a Plan

Since in recent times, I've been severely lacking in motivation to go out and ride, I have formulated an intricate plan to set me back on track.
Many hours of thoughtful introspection have gone into this plan, all sorts of soul searching and such.
You know, the hardest part is getting out the door, at least for me.
Then there's the weather, considering I'm a fair weather cyclist, I only go out when the sun is shining.
Any hint of clouds and I make for the couch.
Not a good thing.
I believe that my motivation for cycling, when I first started anyways, was that it was a challenge, a challenge to get my body into some kind of physical shape since I was terribly flabby.
I mean three miles and I was done!
As time went by, I got fitter and stronger and now, I'm sort of happy to be where I am.
I can go out and ride without any real discomfort, unless said discomfort is self induced, and just enjoy the ride and passing scenery.
So, after careful thought, I've decided to return to my roots!
Yes! Back to the olden days when I had goals!
Since it's so mentally difficult to get out the door, I'm going to make it physically difficult to get out the door!
I'm going to eat a frozen pizza a day until I can no longer fit through the doorway!

Hundreds of pizzas!
Stacked in the freezer awaiting microwave goodness!
Of course, one can only eat so much frozen pizza so I plan to add in some freshly baked pies too.
One cannot live on pizza alone, so when pizza is no longer appealing(never happened!), I have an alternate source of fatness:

That's right frozen food section fans!
Ice cream by the pint!
Many, many pints I might add.
Like hundreds.
Or thousands!
Of pints I mean.
Man, this is going to be some motivational excursion I'm taking.
I'm going to have to purchase new pants.
So anyways, I figure that if I gain like fifty pounds or so, enough to see a difference, and start looking at myself in the mirror, one day I might just say to myself, "you know, you really should go out and ride your bike."
That, my friends is what motivation is all about!
I mean no more excuses about the weather, I'm tired, or leaving right after Law & Order.
Once I start carrying that tire popping weight, I'll force myself to ride!
If I can get off the couch I mean.
Okay, okay, my plan may have a few flaws, but at least I have a plan.
If you know what I mean.


johnnytrashbike said...

if you blog the whole thing- gaining all the weight, eating all kinds of stuff, and, then, losing the weight- you might be able to get a book deal. if you film it? documentary!

limom said...

I think Oprah's been there done that.
On the other hand, it could be like a bicycling motivational video, you know, for like when you're on the trainer.
Or something.

Steve A said...

Hmm, you need someone to keep riding your Eye Tie bikes while you pork up?

limom said...

I'm going to hang them from the ceiling so that the power of the Italian Goodness can constantly shine down on me.