Under the Bright Lights, Contemplations

Okay then.
Once again I mingled with the masses and attended the opening of the Hawaii Craftsmen State Juried Exhibition.
I only wandered around the show twice or so, navigating my way through the crowd, so I didn't really get to study and ponder any of the stuff there.
I was hoping they'd separate my pieces, but they put them together:



Not sure how I feel about that for they are sort of same yet sort of different.
If you know what I mean.
I'll be more conscious of this next time I submit my stuff.
I gotta say, going to a show like this does something to me.
First of all, it reminds me of how lazy I am.
Lemme tell you, that's not a good feeling.
I mean I'm surrounded by some really nice stuff and when I look at my stuff, I feel like I didn't put it all on the table.
Which is strange.
Last year, I think I felt pretty good, I mean I had some nice stuff in there.
This year, I dunno.
I'm feeling sort of conflicted.
I'm happy that I'm in, but at the same time, sort of ashamed.
This all started when I looked at all my recent stuff, which I started to gather in the bathroom.
It occurred to me that I'm just fooling around, playing with these new colors, making goofy things, not really taking the clay seriously.
Don't get me wrong, I purposely try not take this stuff seriously, I mean I try to have fun with it, but what I'm doing now, is so far away from what I used to do that I sometimes feel like I'm making toys.
Again, nothing wrong with that, I like making toys, but by doing it, just what the hell am I doing?
It's like I've pushed this whimsical thing too far and it's time to get back to the old me.
My job is to push my medium, be fresh, be new.
I am, I mean I am pushing it, doing things I haven't seen done, but at the same time I sort of feel like I haven't been pushing hard enough.
What made me think of this is I realized I haven't had a project fail in a long time.
You know you're out there when things just won't work and you have to reel yourself back in.
Not a lot of reeling back in going on around here.
So, it's time to rethink where I'm going.
Oh, I'll still work on these goofy teapots, but at the same time, I want to revisit some places I left off way back when, back in another life.
Time to start working some porcelain.
Porcelain is a whole different ballgame, let me tell you.
Oh yeah.