Sunday, April 1, 2012

Sunday Early Edition

So the other day I was sitting around thinking.
Which is always dangerous.
Me thinking I mean.
Anyways, I was thinking that maybe I got too many bicycles.
You know, you can only ride one at a time and I figured that if I could only ride one at at time the one I'm riding should be a reflection of my bicycling skills.
Oh the Celeste Devil is great and all but let's face it, I've out grown it.
I'm way beyond that steel frame stuff.
So I decided to sell all my bicycles.
Craigslist don't you know.
Seeing as how my bicycles are all works of art, they were snapped up immediately by some dude who said he was tired of riding his hybrid and wanted to try riding a bicycle that was in his words: real fast.
Well I didn't want to tell him my bicycles weren't "real fast" cause I needed the cash to buy this:

That's right lugged carbon fans!
Straight from France or places thereabout!
Boy, you should have seen the smile on my face when the post person dropped this off!
I could hardly wait to unwrap it:

A bicycle that matches my performance!
I'm Super Sonic don't you know.
Well, a bicycle like this cannot ride on any old wheels.
So I got me some of these:

That's right whoosh whoosh fans!
Freakin Zipps!
I had to sell my car but now I'm all aero and pro!
People will see me coming down the street and say: There's Mr. Flat Tire! Don't give him "the look" or he'll burn your eyebrows off!
Not enough digits on the Garmin to measure my top speed.
Going uphill!
In The Big Ring!
In fact I'm so freakin fast, the pro offers should be coming in any day now.
I'm thinking maybe Team Sky or that Leotard team.
Or something.
Of course this means I'll have to start a new blog.
If you know what I mean.


John Romeo Alpha said...

Looking forward to your leg shaving tips!

limom said...

Free razors for all the readers!
You know, once I get sponsored.