Monday Cactus Update!

It's been a while since my last Cactus Update.
For one thing, cactus ain't exactly the fastest growing things on the planet.
I mean you don't blink your eyeballs and all of a sudden you got humungasoid pokey things sprouting from a pot.
More like you blink you eyeballs and everything is the same, day after day, month after month, year after year.
Well okay, not really.
There has been some progress.
One of the neobuxbaumia is doing really well:

Compared to the other ones I started at the same time I mean.
This one just started to balloon up and it hasn't stopped!
I mean the other ones are growing too, just not as fast:

Most of them are still on the small side, though I can see some growth.
Sort of.
I can even see some of the Saguaro getting bigger:

I think.
I mean I think they're getting bigger.
The carnegiea gigantea must be like the slowest growing cactus ever and if I live to be a hundred, they might finally stick up out of the pot.
Okay, I'm exaggerating.
Maybe in like five years.
I also got this blue cactus that's doing well:

When I bought these guys they were only like four inches tall or so.
The star though, is my cross bred Hawaiian cactus.
I took some koa wood, and of course a cactus, and grafted them together to make this:

That's right pokey things fans!
Canoe Paddle Cactus!
Okay, not really.
That's my opuntia!
It's finally getting getting flat!
Something is also munching on it as you can see so I moved the pot into a vase so crawly things can't well, crawl up on it.
I'm so stoked!
I swear it was looking like string bean cactus then a couple of months ago that flat part started to well, get flat.
I'm not sure exactly what kind of opuntia it is so for now it's Hawaiian Canoe Paddle opuntia, but I hope it's the kind of opuntia that gives edible fruit.
Then I'll be a cactus eating sonofagun lemme tell you!
The Cactus Army grows.
World domination looms.
You just have to be patient.