Sunday Early Edition

So yesterday, I took a look see at them Campagnolo Protons wheels with the Ninja Nipples.
First of all, just to show you, the reader, how much of a banana head I really am, all this time I've been on these wheels, I thought the front had twenty spokes.
I mean these wheels have been sitting in front of me for the good part of four months, and I swear I've counted the spokes at least four times and yesterday, I find out they actually have twenty two!
I may need new glasses.
Or maybe a new brain.
So anyways, I peel back some of rim tape to take gander at what I'm facing. The Ninja Nipples are hidden, you cannot see them on the outside of the rim:



Which sort of makes them a PIA if you need to adjust your spokes.
Those pesky Italians!
It also seems that you need some kind of special Ninja Nipple tool:



I also have no idea about how to access the spokes from at the hub. They have a cover that seems to beg to be pried off, but this being Italian, you probably need a special prying tool or cork screw or peanut butter wrench or something:



Looking at the rear hub, you can see the how the spokes are set in there.
You can also see their proprietariness:



I don't even want to start looking for these things.
I mean you probably gotta go to some Roman oracle or something and make a human sacrifice before they reveal the source of these spokes.
Then you probably have to done some winged shoes and climb up to the top of the Acropolis to find some apprentice of the god Mars whose sole job is to forge these things using the fire from a dragon's breath.
Or something.
I may just use them until they wear out.
The rears have off set drillings so the wheel is supposed to be stronger:



The also look kinda cool.
I mean seeing as how they are older, they don't have all that mad commercial advertising all over them.
They are sort of just simple and elegant.
The good ole simple and elegant days.
What ever happened to them?