The world is coming to an end!
I feel so worthless!
My stuff sucks!
All this and more went through my head the first time I was rejected from a show.
An art show that is.
If you've been following along at home, you, the reader, may remember that I made a couple of doodads to submit into this year's Artist of Hawaii show.
Well, the two thingys didn't go over so well and I was rejected.
Actually it was some time ago, I just sort of forgot about it.
REJECTED!
OMG!
Don't remember?
I wrote about it here.
Now I have to admit, those two thingys were not my best effort, I waited until the last possible week to work on them and I hadn't really thought them out.
Yeah, I know, excuses, excuses.
I got a million of em!
Art major don't you know.
So anyways, rejection is not so bad when you know it wasn't your best stuff and your heart wasn't really in it.
Now if I had slaved and labored for weeks, eyeballing it and doing several variations of a theme and actually making several different forms, then my soul might have been crushed.
Let's face it though, that's nothing new; my soul gets crushed each time I go out and ride my bike so I'm pretty much used to it.
Besides, the Artists of Hawaii show has rejected me like five times now, so it's sort of like deja vu.
The important things about these shows is that you keep sending your work out there, for folks to either fawn over or trample on.
I mean having your family tell you how cool your stuff looks is okay, but let's face it, it's like kissing your sister.
If you know what I mean.
It helps to remember that not everyone is going to like your work all the time.
It would be great if I made fantastic stuff all the time, but as you can see, there are some times when I drop the ball.
Okay, I drop the ball a lot.
Like most of time.
There are some folks who would say that showing your work is all about ego and selling out, but for me, it's all about ego and selling out.
Okay, not really.
Maybe.
I mean I enjoy seeing my work under the bright lights, but I don't enjoy promoting myself or hanging around "that" crowd.
Most artist folk take their work and themselves, in my opinion, way too seriously.
Too much worrying about making a statement and not enough worrying about making stuff that just looks good.
Well okay, I make some stuff that doesn't look good, hence my rejection, but at least I try because say it with me: image is everything.
Or something like that.
Anyways, I brought this all up for there's another couple of shows coming up and since I got all this spare time it's time to get on it and start working on some new stuff.
I'm going to stay with the space vessels for a bit and see what happens.
I must hone my Jedi skilz!
There's also another craft fair thingy so I better get going.
Hopefully some interesting stuff comes out of me this summer.
Maybe.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Sunday Final
Well since summer is almost here, you all know what that means.
Yes, that's right water sports fans!
It's regatta time!
Okay, I don't know for sure if it's regatta time or not for I have no clue as to when the season starts and ends, but for at least today it was regatta time:
If you squint your eyeballs, you can just make out some canoes out there between the escort boats.
I gotta say, it wasn't such a good day for some canoe racing for the wind was blowing something wicked and it was creating a bunch of small swells in the bay:
Okay if you squint your eyeballs you can see some of the trade wind swells rolling in.
It wasn't as bad as the other day when the bay was all white capped but still, I wouldn't want to be out there paddling a canoe.
When Kailua hosts a regatta, the teams come early and stake out the beach front so they can set up their tents and stuff:
Here you can see an outrigger canoe parked on the beach in front of the team HQ:
Paddling has become a small industry here, we even got a paddling specific shop here in Kailua.
The paddles have also changed with different woods and even some high tech materials used in their construction.
Pick your weapon:
If you squint your eyeballs and take a look at the paddles on the right, you can see that the blades of some of them are not straight but offset, I suppose to make more power during the stroke.
There are also what appear to be a couple of paddles made of carbon fibre.
Oh yeah! the carbon goodness!
As I said in an earlier post, most of the schools here have a paddling team so it isn't unusual to see kids walking around school with their paddles in nice canvas paddle bags.
As with anything with the kids, having a really nice paddle I suppose is something of a status symbol.
Anyways, I passed by the beach twice and each time it must have been between heats for there weren't any canoes actually racing.
Maybe there were submarine races.
Wait, they only hold those at night.
Or so I'm told.
Anyways, there were tons of folks out enjoying the beach.
Yeah, I guess summer is here.
Yes, that's right water sports fans!
It's regatta time!
Okay, I don't know for sure if it's regatta time or not for I have no clue as to when the season starts and ends, but for at least today it was regatta time:
If you squint your eyeballs, you can just make out some canoes out there between the escort boats.
I gotta say, it wasn't such a good day for some canoe racing for the wind was blowing something wicked and it was creating a bunch of small swells in the bay:
Okay if you squint your eyeballs you can see some of the trade wind swells rolling in.
It wasn't as bad as the other day when the bay was all white capped but still, I wouldn't want to be out there paddling a canoe.
When Kailua hosts a regatta, the teams come early and stake out the beach front so they can set up their tents and stuff:
Here you can see an outrigger canoe parked on the beach in front of the team HQ:
Paddling has become a small industry here, we even got a paddling specific shop here in Kailua.
The paddles have also changed with different woods and even some high tech materials used in their construction.
Pick your weapon:
If you squint your eyeballs and take a look at the paddles on the right, you can see that the blades of some of them are not straight but offset, I suppose to make more power during the stroke.
There are also what appear to be a couple of paddles made of carbon fibre.
Oh yeah! the carbon goodness!
As I said in an earlier post, most of the schools here have a paddling team so it isn't unusual to see kids walking around school with their paddles in nice canvas paddle bags.
As with anything with the kids, having a really nice paddle I suppose is something of a status symbol.
Anyways, I passed by the beach twice and each time it must have been between heats for there weren't any canoes actually racing.
Maybe there were submarine races.
Wait, they only hold those at night.
Or so I'm told.
Anyways, there were tons of folks out enjoying the beach.
Yeah, I guess summer is here.
Sunday Early Edition
Out bright and early to get some pics of the Bike With The Funny Name.
I wanted to try and catch a certain light, but instead I just got rained on:
Okay Mr. Flat Tire, enough with the black and white photos!
Hang on to your water bottle and let me tell my story!
So when I went to the paint place to check out the colors, I was sort of disappointed:
Hammerite is the paint of choice as it is very good in keeping stuff from rusting. Not a lot of prep is needed, sometimes you can just paint over the rust and it won't come through the paint.
I got some sculpture on the porch done up in Hammerite that still looks good after five years.
So anyways, there's some colors, but being Hammerite, it's all of that hammered texture stuff.
Not too much selection as far as the regular stuff went.
I finally decided to go with my original choice.
Here's the before and after:
Came out a little darker than I wanted, I was shooting for a fire engine red.
I'm still thinking about painting those twin top tubes white.
For some contrast don't you know.
There's still some stuff I need to work on like the wheels:
There's some paint or something on the rims, I'll Dremelize it later.
The spokes are also rusty, I'm thinking of getting some of that rust remover stuff or maybe just sanding them down.
I got some chain skip on one of the gears so it looks like I'll need a new chain.
Also looking into some fenders but I'm not sure if 700s will fit the 27 inch wheels.
Total amount I spent came out to around $155 including the bicycle.
Would I buy this bike for a buck fifty?
I don't think so.
It is fun bringing stuff back from the dead and I did learn some about older bicycles and for the most part I had a good time working on it.
I guess in that case it's easy to justify what I spent on it.
I'll attach the basket later today and maybe even go out for some cheese rolls and kim chee.
Or something.
I wanted to try and catch a certain light, but instead I just got rained on:
Okay Mr. Flat Tire, enough with the black and white photos!
Hang on to your water bottle and let me tell my story!
So when I went to the paint place to check out the colors, I was sort of disappointed:
Hammerite is the paint of choice as it is very good in keeping stuff from rusting. Not a lot of prep is needed, sometimes you can just paint over the rust and it won't come through the paint.
I got some sculpture on the porch done up in Hammerite that still looks good after five years.
So anyways, there's some colors, but being Hammerite, it's all of that hammered texture stuff.
Not too much selection as far as the regular stuff went.
I finally decided to go with my original choice.
Here's the before and after:
Came out a little darker than I wanted, I was shooting for a fire engine red.
I'm still thinking about painting those twin top tubes white.
For some contrast don't you know.
There's still some stuff I need to work on like the wheels:
There's some paint or something on the rims, I'll Dremelize it later.
The spokes are also rusty, I'm thinking of getting some of that rust remover stuff or maybe just sanding them down.
I got some chain skip on one of the gears so it looks like I'll need a new chain.
Also looking into some fenders but I'm not sure if 700s will fit the 27 inch wheels.
Total amount I spent came out to around $155 including the bicycle.
Would I buy this bike for a buck fifty?
I don't think so.
It is fun bringing stuff back from the dead and I did learn some about older bicycles and for the most part I had a good time working on it.
I guess in that case it's easy to justify what I spent on it.
I'll attach the basket later today and maybe even go out for some cheese rolls and kim chee.
Or something.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Post Tuna Sandwich Report
Boy that sandwich nearly paralyzed me.
I was stuck on the couch for a while, watching Law & Order, thinking about how to waste a completely wonderful day.
I don't like to waste completely wonderful days, but it's pretty easy to do.
So I got off the couch and began to take the Bike With The Funny Name apart.
I didn't want to do it cause I just got all in one piece so taking it apart felt like I was going backwards or something.
Once I got it all nekkid, I took it out to the Flat Tire Paint Shop to stare at it some more:
Where to begin?
The good thing about this frame was that none of the rust was in hard to reach places like where the lugs are.
Most of the rust was easily reached.
I started off with some 220 grit sandpaper but that soon changed.
On the chain stay, the rust looked bad:
Just plain sandpaper would take me like forever.
This was going to need some industrial strength high revolution electro powered help:
Into the bench vise the frame went and out came the Dremel.
At the thirty thousand RPMs, the rust and decals didn't have a chance.
Buzz, buzz, buzz, and some sanding, sanding, sanding, and about an hour later it was ready to be prepped.
This frame is not in good shape.
The top tubes and the bottom tube have been dinged up, really slight dings that you can feel only when sanding it smooth.
One of the rear drop outs has a bad weld, nothing I can do about that.
I admit I stopped my usual five star prep when I found these flaws.
The frame only got a three and half star prep.
The stem is still stuck in there so I just did my best to tape up the headset area and the brake and reflecto thingys.
It was pretty windy today, so the paint didn't come out that well.
Still, it looks better than it did before.
I'll let it sit a bit more before putting it all back together.
I guess now I gotta polish up some stuff so that it at least looks decent.
Huh?
What color did I paint it?
Okay, here's a sneak preview:
I was stuck on the couch for a while, watching Law & Order, thinking about how to waste a completely wonderful day.
I don't like to waste completely wonderful days, but it's pretty easy to do.
So I got off the couch and began to take the Bike With The Funny Name apart.
I didn't want to do it cause I just got all in one piece so taking it apart felt like I was going backwards or something.
Once I got it all nekkid, I took it out to the Flat Tire Paint Shop to stare at it some more:
Where to begin?
The good thing about this frame was that none of the rust was in hard to reach places like where the lugs are.
Most of the rust was easily reached.
I started off with some 220 grit sandpaper but that soon changed.
On the chain stay, the rust looked bad:
Just plain sandpaper would take me like forever.
This was going to need some industrial strength high revolution electro powered help:
Into the bench vise the frame went and out came the Dremel.
At the thirty thousand RPMs, the rust and decals didn't have a chance.
Buzz, buzz, buzz, and some sanding, sanding, sanding, and about an hour later it was ready to be prepped.
This frame is not in good shape.
The top tubes and the bottom tube have been dinged up, really slight dings that you can feel only when sanding it smooth.
One of the rear drop outs has a bad weld, nothing I can do about that.
I admit I stopped my usual five star prep when I found these flaws.
The frame only got a three and half star prep.
The stem is still stuck in there so I just did my best to tape up the headset area and the brake and reflecto thingys.
It was pretty windy today, so the paint didn't come out that well.
Still, it looks better than it did before.
I'll let it sit a bit more before putting it all back together.
I guess now I gotta polish up some stuff so that it at least looks decent.
Huh?
What color did I paint it?
Okay, here's a sneak preview:
Where Do You Start?
Warning: this is not related to bicycling in any way or form.
If you came here hoping to read something about bicycling, move along, there's nothing to see.
So anyways, I was sitting here, staring at my tuna sandwich when I suddenly occurred to my OCD brain that I always eat my sandwich in a particular way.
Said tuna sandwich:
I pick it up in the usual fashion, right side up.
I mean bread is directional don't you know.
This does not include sandwich bread, that square looking stuff good only for toast.
So I pick up my sandwich, right side up.
Wait.
Don't forget the chips:
Just before I take a bite, I turn the sandwich, mostly in a clockwise direction though sometimes counter clockwise and eyeball the bottom left corner.
Just to clarify, let's look at the sandwich as sort of a Cartesian graph:
The corner about to be devoured would be the one in quadrant III.
Sometimes quadrant IV, but mostly III.
Why this is, why I feel compelled to take a chunk not from the top, but from the bottom, I have no hypothesis.
There should be a good explanation for this is not a random act.
I believe it has been going on for years, though I have no proof, the evidence has been digested long ago.
As regards to the next bite, I need to gather more evidence.
I believe I work on the said sandwich in a counter clockwise direction, taking bites out of the outer portions, though I believe it depends largely on how I happened to replace the sandwich on the plate.
Today it was counter clockwise:
I'd call that a bite out of the Y axis.
Now it's more or less random, I'm concentrating on choosing just the right potato chip:
The shape of the chip does not matter, it must be just the right size.
This becomes a problem for the size of the chip seems to be proportional to the amount of chips left in the bag.
Still I persevere until nothing is left of said sandwich but the center:
Plotted on the Cartesian graph, that would include an area roughly the size of a rectangle with the following coordinates: (3,5)(-3,5)(-3,-5)(3,-5)
At this time, the bites are purely random for it is difficult if not impossible to discern top from bottom.
Once the sandwich has been ingested, this may be followed by more chips, this time the size is not important.
The procedure for a turkey sandwich is similar:
The only difference being the pickle must be carefully rationed so as to last until the sandwich is finished.
Having a little leftover pickle is okay too.
If you know what I mean.
If you came here hoping to read something about bicycling, move along, there's nothing to see.
So anyways, I was sitting here, staring at my tuna sandwich when I suddenly occurred to my OCD brain that I always eat my sandwich in a particular way.
Said tuna sandwich:
I pick it up in the usual fashion, right side up.
I mean bread is directional don't you know.
This does not include sandwich bread, that square looking stuff good only for toast.
So I pick up my sandwich, right side up.
Wait.
Don't forget the chips:
Just before I take a bite, I turn the sandwich, mostly in a clockwise direction though sometimes counter clockwise and eyeball the bottom left corner.
Just to clarify, let's look at the sandwich as sort of a Cartesian graph:
The corner about to be devoured would be the one in quadrant III.
Sometimes quadrant IV, but mostly III.
Why this is, why I feel compelled to take a chunk not from the top, but from the bottom, I have no hypothesis.
There should be a good explanation for this is not a random act.
I believe it has been going on for years, though I have no proof, the evidence has been digested long ago.
As regards to the next bite, I need to gather more evidence.
I believe I work on the said sandwich in a counter clockwise direction, taking bites out of the outer portions, though I believe it depends largely on how I happened to replace the sandwich on the plate.
Today it was counter clockwise:
I'd call that a bite out of the Y axis.
Now it's more or less random, I'm concentrating on choosing just the right potato chip:
The shape of the chip does not matter, it must be just the right size.
This becomes a problem for the size of the chip seems to be proportional to the amount of chips left in the bag.
Still I persevere until nothing is left of said sandwich but the center:
Plotted on the Cartesian graph, that would include an area roughly the size of a rectangle with the following coordinates: (3,5)(-3,5)(-3,-5)(3,-5)
At this time, the bites are purely random for it is difficult if not impossible to discern top from bottom.
Once the sandwich has been ingested, this may be followed by more chips, this time the size is not important.
The procedure for a turkey sandwich is similar:
The only difference being the pickle must be carefully rationed so as to last until the sandwich is finished.
Having a little leftover pickle is okay too.
If you know what I mean.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Epoman!
That's right performance enhancing drugs fans!
Lance got nothing on me!
Wait, that came out backwards.
Even on his worse day Lance would dust me like can of Lemon Pledge.
Yesterday might have been my worstest day on a bike ever.
Well, not quite, for that time in the ER was my worstest day, but yesterday was my worstest day on a bike without riding a City and County vehicle.
It was one of those off days for me, the day after dialysis, so I knew it was going to be bad, but not like that bad!
I mean I was a huffing and a puffing and blowing some houses down and my legs were a hurting and a complaining and getting all noodle like.
At the halfway point I had to stop and take like a twenty minute break and drink like a bottle of water and eat a Twix bar.
I still didn't feel any better so I cut my ride short and shuffled on home.
There were times when I felt like getting off and walking would have been better.
No fooling.
The Garmin don't lie.
Okay, it's been really windy and all, but it's been windy before and I never felt so well, helpless before.
I think I forgot my glasses.
The reason this surprised me so, was that I'm now on a different medication schedule.
It was decided that since the amount of Epogen I get is so low, instead of getting my shots three times a week, they would triple the dose and poke me once a week instead.
So I was thinking, not very well I might add, that if the dose is tripled I should feel really really good the next couple of days after.
Apparently not.
Okay maybe for here's today's ride via Garmin:
A full mile and half better average speed.
What does it all mean?
Nothing.
The amount of Epogen I get isn't enough to enhance my performance though it is enough to make sure I don't have days like yesterday all the time.
Which brings me back to Lance.
Taking Epogen is not like taking other PEDs.
I mean this stuff will kill you.
Take to much and you'll be making so many red blood cells that your heart will stop beating.
Which is why I got a problem with what Tyler said on TV the other night.
You don't just go and stab yourself and shoot Epogen up.
You have to test to see just how much raises your hematocrit or hemoglobin levels to the correct peformance enhancing levels, which would be just short of a peaceful death.
What this means is that they would have to have been under a doctor's care.
Ferrari?
According to some folks I been talking to, Epogen does not work right away. It takes a week or so for your hemoglobin levels to go up and then it takes more shots to keep it up there.
In other words, weeks of testing to see what it takes to raise performance levels and keep death at the door.
Amgen in fact, recommends a hemoglobin level of no more than 12 before you begin to risk death.
Which is where my level is.
Around 12 or so.
Which is okay for I'm Abby Normal.
Now if you were a normal man folk, with a hemoglobin level of around 14-18, and were to shoot up some Epo, well, let's just say I wouldn't unless I knew what the hell I was doing.
Now I'm not saying Hamilton and Hincapie are lying, I'm just saying that if they are telling the truth about Epogen shots, then perhaps we're not getting the whole story for it's not just that simple.
It's not the kind of drug where you want to make a mistake.
Whatever you do, do NOT try this at home.
If you know what I mean.
In my case, it just doesn't do anything, performance enhancing wise.
Which is not so good for that stuff costs some bucks.
Well actually it is good for it lets me live a slow but normal life.
Bicycle slow I mean.
Still I hope that this triple dose I'm getting every Wednesday will turn me into a hill climber extraordinaire.
At least by Sunday.
I think though that I'll have to do it the hard way.
Which in my case means more pain and suffering.
Unless that Epogen kicks in.
Then maybe I can climb like Lance.
Okay, not really.
Lance got nothing on me!
Wait, that came out backwards.
Even on his worse day Lance would dust me like can of Lemon Pledge.
Yesterday might have been my worstest day on a bike ever.
Well, not quite, for that time in the ER was my worstest day, but yesterday was my worstest day on a bike without riding a City and County vehicle.
It was one of those off days for me, the day after dialysis, so I knew it was going to be bad, but not like that bad!
I mean I was a huffing and a puffing and blowing some houses down and my legs were a hurting and a complaining and getting all noodle like.
At the halfway point I had to stop and take like a twenty minute break and drink like a bottle of water and eat a Twix bar.
I still didn't feel any better so I cut my ride short and shuffled on home.
There were times when I felt like getting off and walking would have been better.
No fooling.
The Garmin don't lie.
Okay, it's been really windy and all, but it's been windy before and I never felt so well, helpless before.
I think I forgot my glasses.
The reason this surprised me so, was that I'm now on a different medication schedule.
It was decided that since the amount of Epogen I get is so low, instead of getting my shots three times a week, they would triple the dose and poke me once a week instead.
So I was thinking, not very well I might add, that if the dose is tripled I should feel really really good the next couple of days after.
Apparently not.
Okay maybe for here's today's ride via Garmin:
A full mile and half better average speed.
What does it all mean?
Nothing.
The amount of Epogen I get isn't enough to enhance my performance though it is enough to make sure I don't have days like yesterday all the time.
Which brings me back to Lance.
Taking Epogen is not like taking other PEDs.
I mean this stuff will kill you.
Take to much and you'll be making so many red blood cells that your heart will stop beating.
Which is why I got a problem with what Tyler said on TV the other night.
You don't just go and stab yourself and shoot Epogen up.
You have to test to see just how much raises your hematocrit or hemoglobin levels to the correct peformance enhancing levels, which would be just short of a peaceful death.
What this means is that they would have to have been under a doctor's care.
Ferrari?
According to some folks I been talking to, Epogen does not work right away. It takes a week or so for your hemoglobin levels to go up and then it takes more shots to keep it up there.
In other words, weeks of testing to see what it takes to raise performance levels and keep death at the door.
Amgen in fact, recommends a hemoglobin level of no more than 12 before you begin to risk death.
Which is where my level is.
Around 12 or so.
Which is okay for I'm Abby Normal.
Now if you were a normal man folk, with a hemoglobin level of around 14-18, and were to shoot up some Epo, well, let's just say I wouldn't unless I knew what the hell I was doing.
Now I'm not saying Hamilton and Hincapie are lying, I'm just saying that if they are telling the truth about Epogen shots, then perhaps we're not getting the whole story for it's not just that simple.
It's not the kind of drug where you want to make a mistake.
Whatever you do, do NOT try this at home.
If you know what I mean.
In my case, it just doesn't do anything, performance enhancing wise.
Which is not so good for that stuff costs some bucks.
Well actually it is good for it lets me live a slow but normal life.
Bicycle slow I mean.
Still I hope that this triple dose I'm getting every Wednesday will turn me into a hill climber extraordinaire.
At least by Sunday.
I think though that I'll have to do it the hard way.
Which in my case means more pain and suffering.
Unless that Epogen kicks in.
Then maybe I can climb like Lance.
Okay, not really.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
To Dork or Not to Dork
That is the question.
Trivial as it may seem to some, it is of great importance to me for if you have been following along at home you, the reader, know that say it with me: image is everything.
Before I get to that though, today I found out that Domino's delivers to the beach:
Now I've taken a pizza to the beach, but I've never ordered one to be delivered there.
I always supposed you needed like an address or something.
It was also nice to see that some of the kids around here ride their bikes to school:
Hawaiian bike rack made of pipe and chain.
Don't like that?
Just use the fence:
Hey wait just a minute! The kids are in school?
Ooops!
Yeah, I'm supposed to be there too, but in our school, most if not all of the kids do not show up for the last two days.
Since there are no kids, there is no me.
Or something like that.
So anyways, when I limped on home, this was waiting for me:
The new free wheel is sort of on the small side.
I didn't think of the gearing when I ordered it, I just went with the cheapest one I could find.
I hope I don't pay for that later.
I figure it's okay, I mean I got a triple up front.
So here's the big question: do I put the dork disc back or do I leave it off?
I gotta say that it looks sort of nekkid back there without it.
I guess since the cluster is so small it makes it look even goofier.
The pie plate though picks up and seems to amplify whatever resonances come from back there so I thought I'd leave it off.
Maybe I can find one of them plexi ones.
Or maybe I can paint the old one and that may be enough to deaden some sound.
I just don't know what to do!
My glasses! without them I'm helpless!
Or something like that.
I'm hoping to unveil the New and Improved Bike With The Funny Name(NIBWTFN) sometime in the next week.
As long as I can figure out what to do with that goofy disc.
Trivial as it may seem to some, it is of great importance to me for if you have been following along at home you, the reader, know that say it with me: image is everything.
Before I get to that though, today I found out that Domino's delivers to the beach:
Now I've taken a pizza to the beach, but I've never ordered one to be delivered there.
I always supposed you needed like an address or something.
It was also nice to see that some of the kids around here ride their bikes to school:
Hawaiian bike rack made of pipe and chain.
Don't like that?
Just use the fence:
Hey wait just a minute! The kids are in school?
Ooops!
Yeah, I'm supposed to be there too, but in our school, most if not all of the kids do not show up for the last two days.
Since there are no kids, there is no me.
Or something like that.
So anyways, when I limped on home, this was waiting for me:
The new free wheel is sort of on the small side.
I didn't think of the gearing when I ordered it, I just went with the cheapest one I could find.
I hope I don't pay for that later.
I figure it's okay, I mean I got a triple up front.
So here's the big question: do I put the dork disc back or do I leave it off?
I gotta say that it looks sort of nekkid back there without it.
I guess since the cluster is so small it makes it look even goofier.
The pie plate though picks up and seems to amplify whatever resonances come from back there so I thought I'd leave it off.
Maybe I can find one of them plexi ones.
Or maybe I can paint the old one and that may be enough to deaden some sound.
I just don't know what to do!
My glasses! without them I'm helpless!
Or something like that.
I'm hoping to unveil the New and Improved Bike With The Funny Name(NIBWTFN) sometime in the next week.
As long as I can figure out what to do with that goofy disc.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Banished!
So ashamed.
What have I done?
I dunno.
It must have been something really really bad for I've been banished from Bloggerland.
Okay, not totally banished, I mean you wouldn't be reading this if I was, but more like banished from posting comments on other folks' blogs.
For some odd reason, I can no longer offer up my unusual brand of witticisms and general observations on Blogger.
I'm not even a recognized member of the exclusive club.
I'm also having trouble commenting up right here.
That's right!
Right down there!
Below this post and all that.
What have I done to get such disrespect?
Maybe I was taking up too much bandwidth.
Speaking of banishments, and this is a stretch, I finally got the goods to banish that funky free wheel:
Luckily it came with foolproof directions.
Sort of.
So anyways, it says to make sure to use the skewer to attach this thing to the free wheel, so that you don't injure yourself or heaven forbid any innocent bystanders:
Okay, so I get that squared away and start pushing on it.
Like really really hard.
More hard pushing and leveraging and bad words coming out of my mouth.
So finally I have to use the Flat Tire Bottom Bracket tool to loosen this puppy up.
At least I didn't pop a spoke!
So I start a turning on it and for some reason it's like getting tighter and tighter.
WTH?
I mean I literally drenched the thing with all kinds of slippery stuff when I was trying to get it to quiet down.
Tighter still!
If you, the reader, have been following along at home, you know what's coming.
Yes, another banana headed move.
I forgot to loosen the skewer as I was unscrewing the free wheel!
Seriously, it's amazing that I don't injure myself or heaven forbid any innocent bystanders.
Anyways, off that free wheel came, to be banished to some secret research facility where evil experiments will be conducted on it to see what makes it tick:
Or not tick.
The new to me free wheel is on it's way so hopefully I will be able to get this thing running and walking.
Then you all shall see!
Exile me will you!
I will not take this banishment sitting down!
The Bike With The Funny Name will take over the world!
Nothing will stand in my way!
Nothing!
Maybe.
What have I done?
I dunno.
It must have been something really really bad for I've been banished from Bloggerland.
Okay, not totally banished, I mean you wouldn't be reading this if I was, but more like banished from posting comments on other folks' blogs.
For some odd reason, I can no longer offer up my unusual brand of witticisms and general observations on Blogger.
I'm not even a recognized member of the exclusive club.
I'm also having trouble commenting up right here.
That's right!
Right down there!
Below this post and all that.
What have I done to get such disrespect?
Maybe I was taking up too much bandwidth.
Speaking of banishments, and this is a stretch, I finally got the goods to banish that funky free wheel:
Luckily it came with foolproof directions.
Sort of.
So anyways, it says to make sure to use the skewer to attach this thing to the free wheel, so that you don't injure yourself or heaven forbid any innocent bystanders:
Okay, so I get that squared away and start pushing on it.
Like really really hard.
More hard pushing and leveraging and bad words coming out of my mouth.
So finally I have to use the Flat Tire Bottom Bracket tool to loosen this puppy up.
At least I didn't pop a spoke!
So I start a turning on it and for some reason it's like getting tighter and tighter.
WTH?
I mean I literally drenched the thing with all kinds of slippery stuff when I was trying to get it to quiet down.
Tighter still!
If you, the reader, have been following along at home, you know what's coming.
Yes, another banana headed move.
I forgot to loosen the skewer as I was unscrewing the free wheel!
Seriously, it's amazing that I don't injure myself or heaven forbid any innocent bystanders.
Anyways, off that free wheel came, to be banished to some secret research facility where evil experiments will be conducted on it to see what makes it tick:
Or not tick.
The new to me free wheel is on it's way so hopefully I will be able to get this thing running and walking.
Then you all shall see!
Exile me will you!
I will not take this banishment sitting down!
The Bike With The Funny Name will take over the world!
Nothing will stand in my way!
Nothing!
Maybe.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
It's A Tool Not A Jewel
First of all, I ride my bicycle.
As much as I can.
Okay, I try not to ride in rain and through deep puddles, but when caught in liquid sunshine, the only thing I cringe about is that stream of water that comes off the front tire directly into my frontal breathing apparatus.
I don't have a rain bike, although it would be nice, so the Celeste Devil serves most of my biking needs.
I mean it's just a bicycle right?
Well, I also like for it to look nice.
I mean I have to admit, I'm sort of proud about my bicycle and all the upgrades I've put on it.
I just like to have nice stuff.
Okay, there's also the nuts and bolts factor as nice stuff usually works better than cheap stuff, but in this case, sort of besides the point.
The point is, while I do set my bicycle up on a pedestal, in the end, it's just a bicycle.
So why all the bling?
When does it end?
Where exactly is the point of diminishing returns?
I figure diminishing returns start at upgrade one and everything is down hill from there.
Using that form of logic means there must be a bottom right?
Well the other day, I ordered this:
I just wasn't happy with the way them black valve stem caps looked.
Then I put those silver ones on and decided I wasn't happy with them either.
Then I started thinking, why am I so obsessed over a freakin valve stem cap?
What does it matter to me for when I ride, I can't even see the darn things.
Outta sight, outta mind.
Still, I can't help but dreaming, fantasizing if you will, about continually upgrading my bicycle.
Madness!
Stop the Super Record Titanium lust!
I cannot stop these Italian voices in my head!
It's just a bicycle right?
I needed some help.
A reminder that my bicycle is meant for riding and not some kind of evil status symbol only one half of one percent of the population will understand.
So I got me these:
Yes, I joked about them in a previous post, but since then I have been thinking about them.
Not just your normal valve stem caps:
That's right upgrade fans!
Valve stem caps with genuine Swarovski crystals!
These things have got to be, if not close to, the stupidest things you could buy for your bicycle.
Normally, I'd be ashamed to be caught with these radiant fou-fous on my bike, but in this case I'm actually sort of proud.
For with the installation of these ostentatious little critters, I've finally found the bottom of the abyss.
There can be no more bling.
Every time I look at those sparkling Liberace like devils, I'll be reminded of how enormously ridiculous the constant need for upgrading is.
I mean seriously, there comes time when too much is just well, too much and let's face it here, those puppies are just too much.
I call it shame therapy.
Besides, there's no way I can top decadence like this.
Actually though, the do look pretty cool and now my bicycle is not only a tool but a jewel too.
Sort of.
As much as I can.
Okay, I try not to ride in rain and through deep puddles, but when caught in liquid sunshine, the only thing I cringe about is that stream of water that comes off the front tire directly into my frontal breathing apparatus.
I don't have a rain bike, although it would be nice, so the Celeste Devil serves most of my biking needs.
I mean it's just a bicycle right?
Well, I also like for it to look nice.
I mean I have to admit, I'm sort of proud about my bicycle and all the upgrades I've put on it.
I just like to have nice stuff.
Okay, there's also the nuts and bolts factor as nice stuff usually works better than cheap stuff, but in this case, sort of besides the point.
The point is, while I do set my bicycle up on a pedestal, in the end, it's just a bicycle.
So why all the bling?
When does it end?
Where exactly is the point of diminishing returns?
I figure diminishing returns start at upgrade one and everything is down hill from there.
Using that form of logic means there must be a bottom right?
Well the other day, I ordered this:
I just wasn't happy with the way them black valve stem caps looked.
Then I put those silver ones on and decided I wasn't happy with them either.
Then I started thinking, why am I so obsessed over a freakin valve stem cap?
What does it matter to me for when I ride, I can't even see the darn things.
Outta sight, outta mind.
Still, I can't help but dreaming, fantasizing if you will, about continually upgrading my bicycle.
Madness!
Stop the Super Record Titanium lust!
I cannot stop these Italian voices in my head!
It's just a bicycle right?
I needed some help.
A reminder that my bicycle is meant for riding and not some kind of evil status symbol only one half of one percent of the population will understand.
So I got me these:
Yes, I joked about them in a previous post, but since then I have been thinking about them.
Not just your normal valve stem caps:
That's right upgrade fans!
Valve stem caps with genuine Swarovski crystals!
These things have got to be, if not close to, the stupidest things you could buy for your bicycle.
Normally, I'd be ashamed to be caught with these radiant fou-fous on my bike, but in this case I'm actually sort of proud.
For with the installation of these ostentatious little critters, I've finally found the bottom of the abyss.
There can be no more bling.
Every time I look at those sparkling Liberace like devils, I'll be reminded of how enormously ridiculous the constant need for upgrading is.
I mean seriously, there comes time when too much is just well, too much and let's face it here, those puppies are just too much.
I call it shame therapy.
Besides, there's no way I can top decadence like this.
Actually though, the do look pretty cool and now my bicycle is not only a tool but a jewel too.
Sort of.
Monday, May 23, 2011
EXTRA!
The Flat Tire file photo
KAILUA - Federal agents dismissed charges against a local area bicycle rider for using performance enhancing drugs although quantities of EPOGEN were found in his possession.
A DEA spokesperson said that after reviewing the accused bicycle rider's Garmin files, there was absolutely no evidence that the controlled substance helped the rider in anyway.
An unidentified agent commented: "A total waste of government assets. This guy was so slow, my three year old could have dropped him."
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Sunday Final
Oh the sun was shining!
Finally, the rains went where ever rains go and things started to dry out.
So off I went!
Puddles galore!
Why I dislike riding after a rain.
Drainage here is pretty good, except for a few areas, always the same places.
To get around that lake I had to go into the bushes:
I've been checking the rent a bike kiosk when I go out and there's always a few gone.
I guess that's a good thing for this is what gas looks like around these parts:
The price has come down by fifty cents or so in the last couple of weeks, but boy it still hurts where it counts.
There were some folks taking out some bikes from the kiosk as I went by today:
I saw them about a half hour later, riding into the beach park.
I guess that's what they are for.
Riding to the beach I mean.
It was also the first time I've ever seen anyone on those bikes.
I guess that's good.
I also checked the other kiosk on the way home, looked like all bikes were accounted for.
Not so good.
Anyways, I decided to just cruise around today, and check out some places I usually just pass by.
A few months ago, I posted up about the new Whole Foods place coming up, well, it's almost done:
All nice and shiny.
Not sure if I'm ever going to shop there.
I've already found another place to do my hunting and gathering, I mean there are like four other supermarkets in this area alone.
Why we need another market, I really don't know.
The other day, I found me some Korean style raw crab:
You eat it just like regular crab except it's sort of spicy and oh yea, it's raw.
Sort of an acquired taste don't you know.
So anyways, before the rain went away to where ever the rain goes, I was busy like a bee, polishing and a polishing.
Okay, I'm pretty sure bees don't go a polishing, but you know what I mean.
The cranks on the Bike With The Funny Name came out sort of nice:
Of course this means I'll have to clean up the rest of the bike, but hey! summer's right around the corner!
Which means sitting around eating Sour Cream and Onion potato chips and watching Law & Order all day long!
Sort of like what I'm going to do right after I finish this post.
Which is right now.
Finally, the rains went where ever rains go and things started to dry out.
So off I went!
Puddles galore!
Why I dislike riding after a rain.
Drainage here is pretty good, except for a few areas, always the same places.
To get around that lake I had to go into the bushes:
I've been checking the rent a bike kiosk when I go out and there's always a few gone.
I guess that's a good thing for this is what gas looks like around these parts:
The price has come down by fifty cents or so in the last couple of weeks, but boy it still hurts where it counts.
There were some folks taking out some bikes from the kiosk as I went by today:
I saw them about a half hour later, riding into the beach park.
I guess that's what they are for.
Riding to the beach I mean.
It was also the first time I've ever seen anyone on those bikes.
I guess that's good.
I also checked the other kiosk on the way home, looked like all bikes were accounted for.
Not so good.
Anyways, I decided to just cruise around today, and check out some places I usually just pass by.
A few months ago, I posted up about the new Whole Foods place coming up, well, it's almost done:
All nice and shiny.
Not sure if I'm ever going to shop there.
I've already found another place to do my hunting and gathering, I mean there are like four other supermarkets in this area alone.
Why we need another market, I really don't know.
The other day, I found me some Korean style raw crab:
You eat it just like regular crab except it's sort of spicy and oh yea, it's raw.
Sort of an acquired taste don't you know.
So anyways, before the rain went away to where ever the rain goes, I was busy like a bee, polishing and a polishing.
Okay, I'm pretty sure bees don't go a polishing, but you know what I mean.
The cranks on the Bike With The Funny Name came out sort of nice:
Of course this means I'll have to clean up the rest of the bike, but hey! summer's right around the corner!
Which means sitting around eating Sour Cream and Onion potato chips and watching Law & Order all day long!
Sort of like what I'm going to do right after I finish this post.
Which is right now.
Sunday Early Edition
So yesterday was spent just tooling around the couch.
Not even the house, I sort of just made the couch Flat Tire Central and watched some Tour of California.
I was so lazy I didn't even make it out of the house to buy more Sour Cream and Onion chips.
I was storing energy you see.
Storing it up for summer break which is right around the corner.
Anyways, the postman came and brought this:
Get it? tooling around?
Nevermind.
That's right internal spoke wrench fans!
A Park Tools internal spoke nipple thingy!
Of course if you, the reader, have been following along at home, you know it didn't fit.
In a long yellow potassium filled tube headed move, I ordered the wrong size!
It seems that there are like a GAGILLION different sizes of internal nipples out there!
Okay, I can't blame those pesky Italians for this one for it seems like Zipp, Reynolds, etc. can't get their act together and use some standard size.
So I ordered one of them three way Park Tool thingys just like the hex wrench except this one is for spoke nipples:
Of course Park also makes each size individually, and I did think about getting each one, but sanity prevailed.
I need to check and see if Park Tools has like a roll cab or something so I can show off my all my useless stuff.
So anyways, part of reason I stayed in yesterday was that it was raining intermittently and those Campagnolo wheels would be nice as rain wheels.
So instead of working on them I opened up a can of evilness:
I swear that stuff is like some kind of drug or something cause once you start you just can't stop!
Not until your fingers and your rag are all black and dirty and everything else in sight is all nice and shiny.
Sort of like seeing folks on the nickle machines in Vegas.
Or something.
The good news is that the crank on the Bike With The Funny Name cleaned up fairly well.
The bad news is that I only did one side.
Well, it's raining as of right now, so I guess there's something for me to do.
I also tried to get some oil in the free wheel, using more Triflo then some Chain-l.
I mean Chain-l looks like gear oil, so why not try.
It kind of quieted down the whirring and grinding sound so now the free wheel only sounds like a blender making a margarita.
Sort of reminds me of burritos.
So anyways I saddled up and ordered another free wheel and one of those free wheel removal tools.
I hope it's the right one.
If you know what I mean.
Since I was cruising the eVilness, I also took a look at some handle bar grips.
I wanted something different, you know to make the BWTFN more retro, so I figured leather might be nice.
Maybe too nice:
How's about a set of Selle San Marco grips for your gripping pleasure?
Okay, maybe if I had a Brooks saddle or something, but not for this grocery getter.
I did find some grips I liked, should be in next week.
Okay, hopefully this rain is only passing and I don't spend a whole Sunday with an open can of evilness.
I mean there's like a lot stuff around here that needs polishing.
There's also a lot of stuff here that doesn't need polishing that I may have to polish anyways.
If you know what I mean.
Not even the house, I sort of just made the couch Flat Tire Central and watched some Tour of California.
I was so lazy I didn't even make it out of the house to buy more Sour Cream and Onion chips.
I was storing energy you see.
Storing it up for summer break which is right around the corner.
Anyways, the postman came and brought this:
Get it? tooling around?
Nevermind.
That's right internal spoke wrench fans!
A Park Tools internal spoke nipple thingy!
Of course if you, the reader, have been following along at home, you know it didn't fit.
In a long yellow potassium filled tube headed move, I ordered the wrong size!
It seems that there are like a GAGILLION different sizes of internal nipples out there!
Okay, I can't blame those pesky Italians for this one for it seems like Zipp, Reynolds, etc. can't get their act together and use some standard size.
So I ordered one of them three way Park Tool thingys just like the hex wrench except this one is for spoke nipples:
Of course Park also makes each size individually, and I did think about getting each one, but sanity prevailed.
I need to check and see if Park Tools has like a roll cab or something so I can show off my all my useless stuff.
So anyways, part of reason I stayed in yesterday was that it was raining intermittently and those Campagnolo wheels would be nice as rain wheels.
So instead of working on them I opened up a can of evilness:
I swear that stuff is like some kind of drug or something cause once you start you just can't stop!
Not until your fingers and your rag are all black and dirty and everything else in sight is all nice and shiny.
Sort of like seeing folks on the nickle machines in Vegas.
Or something.
The good news is that the crank on the Bike With The Funny Name cleaned up fairly well.
The bad news is that I only did one side.
Well, it's raining as of right now, so I guess there's something for me to do.
I also tried to get some oil in the free wheel, using more Triflo then some Chain-l.
I mean Chain-l looks like gear oil, so why not try.
It kind of quieted down the whirring and grinding sound so now the free wheel only sounds like a blender making a margarita.
Sort of reminds me of burritos.
So anyways I saddled up and ordered another free wheel and one of those free wheel removal tools.
I hope it's the right one.
If you know what I mean.
Since I was cruising the eVilness, I also took a look at some handle bar grips.
I wanted something different, you know to make the BWTFN more retro, so I figured leather might be nice.
Maybe too nice:
How's about a set of Selle San Marco grips for your gripping pleasure?
Okay, maybe if I had a Brooks saddle or something, but not for this grocery getter.
I did find some grips I liked, should be in next week.
Okay, hopefully this rain is only passing and I don't spend a whole Sunday with an open can of evilness.
I mean there's like a lot stuff around here that needs polishing.
There's also a lot of stuff here that doesn't need polishing that I may have to polish anyways.
If you know what I mean.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Balance
So tonight, I came home and admired my bicycle.
It's something I do much more than I'd rather admit, but okay, I admit it.
I don't just admire it, I fawn over it.
J'adore mon velo.
Or ma velo.
Wait lemme look that up.
Okay, finally the French get it right and velo is masculine.
Thing is, you can never tell with them pesky French.
If you know what I mean.
So anyways, I'm looking at mon velo and smiling and nodding my head and doing stupid stuff like that when I start noticing the now Obtainable Lightness of Roundness.
When I ordered them I asked Rob, the Psimet in Psimet, to apply his decals on opposite sides of the wheels.
As in two on each side.
Unfortunately, I guess since Mr. Psimet is an extremely busy fellow, tons of wheels to be made and not enough time don't you know, forgot and did his usual application which is one sticker on each side:
For any other normal person, this might be fine, but not for this stickler for symmetry.
It's sort of like running over something like a leaf and having it stick to your tire and having to see it pass by you while riding.
Flap, flap, flap.
I mean if you're like me, you just have to stop and rid your tire of the offending item lest you ride into a telephone pole or something as it messes with your sense of rightness in the world.
Well those stickers are sort of like that except you can't really see them unless you really bend over and sort of ride sideways.
The thing is, I know they are there.
I can them in my mind as I ride around: wonk, wonk, wonk.
Spinning around all funny kine, making me feel all wobbly and googly, making me feel all out of balance.
Which shouldn't be that difficult to understand for if you, the reader, have been following along at home, you know that I'm not the most balanced person in the world.
Sort of.
So off they came!
Sorry Rob!
As I was peeling them off, the image in my mind of that lop sided spin slowly faded.
I started walking straighter and I think I may have corrected the Earth's tilt.
Just a little.
Maybe.
In the process of removal, I also noticed this:
Unbelievably, each spoke is marked Sapim!
Crazy!
Also kinda cool.
So anyways, I peeled them off and in doing so I was left with one clean spot on the rim so yes, I had to clean the whole rim lest I conjure up the image of a clean spot going around and around and around.
Wonk, wonk, wonk.
Then, I noticed some gum I had picked up on the tire, so I had to clean that off and when I cleaned that off, I had to clean the whole tire!
Lemme tell you, it ain't easy being me.
At least now though, mon velo is all aligned correctly and it won't be like pulling to one side causing me to ride into immovable objects.
Now if I can only do something about that valve stem.
Wonk, wonk, wonk.
It's something I do much more than I'd rather admit, but okay, I admit it.
I don't just admire it, I fawn over it.
J'adore mon velo.
Or ma velo.
Wait lemme look that up.
Okay, finally the French get it right and velo is masculine.
Thing is, you can never tell with them pesky French.
If you know what I mean.
So anyways, I'm looking at mon velo and smiling and nodding my head and doing stupid stuff like that when I start noticing the now Obtainable Lightness of Roundness.
When I ordered them I asked Rob, the Psimet in Psimet, to apply his decals on opposite sides of the wheels.
As in two on each side.
Unfortunately, I guess since Mr. Psimet is an extremely busy fellow, tons of wheels to be made and not enough time don't you know, forgot and did his usual application which is one sticker on each side:
For any other normal person, this might be fine, but not for this stickler for symmetry.
It's sort of like running over something like a leaf and having it stick to your tire and having to see it pass by you while riding.
Flap, flap, flap.
I mean if you're like me, you just have to stop and rid your tire of the offending item lest you ride into a telephone pole or something as it messes with your sense of rightness in the world.
Well those stickers are sort of like that except you can't really see them unless you really bend over and sort of ride sideways.
The thing is, I know they are there.
I can them in my mind as I ride around: wonk, wonk, wonk.
Spinning around all funny kine, making me feel all wobbly and googly, making me feel all out of balance.
Which shouldn't be that difficult to understand for if you, the reader, have been following along at home, you know that I'm not the most balanced person in the world.
Sort of.
So off they came!
Sorry Rob!
As I was peeling them off, the image in my mind of that lop sided spin slowly faded.
I started walking straighter and I think I may have corrected the Earth's tilt.
Just a little.
Maybe.
In the process of removal, I also noticed this:
Unbelievably, each spoke is marked Sapim!
Crazy!
Also kinda cool.
So anyways, I peeled them off and in doing so I was left with one clean spot on the rim so yes, I had to clean the whole rim lest I conjure up the image of a clean spot going around and around and around.
Wonk, wonk, wonk.
Then, I noticed some gum I had picked up on the tire, so I had to clean that off and when I cleaned that off, I had to clean the whole tire!
Lemme tell you, it ain't easy being me.
At least now though, mon velo is all aligned correctly and it won't be like pulling to one side causing me to ride into immovable objects.
Now if I can only do something about that valve stem.
Wonk, wonk, wonk.
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