Sunday, December 19, 2010

New Moniker

So, I've been thinking of ways to improve the ole blog.
I mean The Flat Tire is stupendously famous and all, but maybe it's time to make some changes around here.
In tossing some ideas for a new blog title, I came up with The Bike Slob Kailua.
Sure it's kind of a ripoff of another stupendously famous blog, but I don't read that other stupendously famous blog so it's not like I'm stealing.
Not really.
I came up the Bike Slob for I realized that some of you out there may not be as OCD as I am when it comes to bikes and cycling.
I mean I often use my bike as a clothes rack:

How cool is that?
I mean now my bicycle is a true triple purpose machine: road bike, mountain bike, and armoire.
I tend to toss all my bike stuff into a plastic thingy I got for five bucks.
Same for the extra stuff I've collected like stems, grips, tubes etc.
They all go in a box under the ole stereo:

See then I could make fun of all the folks who baby and pamper their bikes.
You know the type, always polishing and scrubbing, wiping the fingerprints off and refusing to ride in the rain.
It's a tool, not a jewel!
Oh wait.
That also sounds like me.
I mean I do keep my bicycle pretty clean.
I also take care of it maintenance wise, unlike my brother who admitted that the last time he cleaned his chain was like a GAGILLION years ago.
A dirty chain though doesn't seem to affect his performance since when I ride with him, this is the only view I get:

So then I started thinking, maybe I should call the blog Bike Slow Kailua for we all know I'm globally famous for the ridiculous speeds at which I ride.
I'm so blistering quick my bike computer often malfunctions:

Just not enough digits there to record my blazing fast glory!
Of course I let women and folks riding folding bikes pass me as a courtesy.
Can't be crushing souls all the time.
Then with the rain and all, I thought Bike Sometimes Kailua was perhaps more appropriate.
I mean it's been like ages since I've actually been on my bike, so long that dust again has settled on my wheels.
We're talking like cobwebs baby:

Then I was thinking maybe something like One Speed:Goofy!
Sort of like One Speed: Go! except I never get up, and I just get goofy.
I mean most of this stuff can be placed in the inane box, if you have one of those.
If you don't, I can make you one.
Other titles I thought of were:
Kailua Point to Pointless - let's face it, I'm Captain of this ship, but I don't actually own a compass
Bike Humor! - the way I ride is sort of a joke
Middleagedfool - self explanatory
Chips and Bikes - sitting on the couch eating Doritos and looking at my bike
Coasting Rider - I prefer not to pedal
A Dimmer View - my original idea light is barely a flicker
and my favorite, The Flat Tire.
Oh wait.
Somebody's already using that one.
The Flat Tire I mean.


PaddyAnne said...

the Flat Tire is a good title - but i also like your Chips and Bikes idea too. You could feature full and empty chip bags draped over your bike for the opening photo shot. 'Course, in England and Australia, etc., Chips are French Fries.. well, Fries to Americans, so you can actually feature some of them too!

Steve A said...

I would hate to have to rename the Flat Tire Tower so soon!

Rat Trap Press said...

I like The Flat Tire but if you feel the need to change I kind of like Bike Slow Kailua. It relays the facts that you're a cyclist, you ride at a leisurely pace, and you live in an interesting place.

John Romeo Alpha said...

Chips and Bikes made me laugh. How about "Opuntia! My Puntia!" Aloha Cactus? Spikes and the City? Spikalicious? What I Would Have Seen Riding My Bike Around Today If I Had Gotten Up Off My Butt?

limom said...

Paddy Anne, I was sort of thinking Meat & Bread, It's very catchy!

Steve A., tower? what tower? I don't no nothing about no stinkin tower.

RTP, after thinking about it, Bike Slow wouldn't work. I have a reputation to think of.
Sort of.

JRA, Spikalicious! sounds yummy!
Then again, I sort of like WIWHSRMBATIIHGUOMB.
Hmmm... maybe it's a little too long.
I liked Chips and Bikes too, but Doritos wouldn't give an endorsement.

After consulting with The Flat Tire Public Relations Department, I've been told that changing the name of the blog will result in the loss of millions of advertising dollars.
So, The Flat Tire it is.