Hello, Is the Bike Still For Sale?

Hello back!
Yes it is!
Sort of.
If you've been following along at home, you, the reader know that last month or so, I decided to sell The Flat Tire Trail Burner, mostly because I was all road bike crazy and blinded by the celesteness.
I posted it up on CL a couple of times and had a few emails, but no one actually came to see the bike:



I took off my blingalicious wheels and put the stock ones back and mounted some fresh WTB Nanoraptors on there.
Now it looks like the bike I ogled and drooled over for months as I ferreted the cash away.
I think I wore out the web page.
Parting the bike out was an option and some dude offered, but I declined.
All this happened when I still had the Lanikai Express.
Now, the Lanikai Express is gone; I believed it's now known as the Kaneohe Express.
Maybe.
Anyways, I got to thinking, maybe selling my bike is not such a good idea for that would leave me with only a skinny tire bike and that sort of limits were I can go.
I was thinking that maybe I could hit some trails or something, even though in the two years I've had that bike it's never been close to being off road.
Well, side of the road, but that doesn't really count.
Thing is, I kinda like the way it looks now, like a real mountain bike is supposed to look.
We don't have tons of trails here, the geography just doesn't support that kind of riding. What we do have are lots of gravel and dirt access roads, most of them used by the State, others used by the military.
So anyways outta the blue, I get an email the other night asking whether or not my bike was still for sale.
If I remember correctly, this guy had inquired about it, but decided that it was a bit too much bike for him at that time.
So yes, I says, the bike is still here, here's my number, call me if you're interested.
I bet you already know the response I got.
Yeppers.
Give me your best price.
What's the lowest you would go?
Tell me what rock bottom is.
Well, I looked at that email for like twenty minutes, trying to decide how word my response.
Well, if I really wanted to sell it, I would have listed my rock bottom price.
Are you kidding me? You haven't even seen it!
I tell you what, I'll sell you the frame and fork for my rock bottom price.
I changed my mind.
Etcetera.
I was trying not to be a wise ass, though that's pretty difficult seeing as how I pretty much ooze sarcasm.
Then I thought hey! this guy is making a valid inquiry so I should try and be nice to him.
Wait!
He mentions in his email that he is thinking about my bike and get this, a beach cruiser!
Dude, save your money and go buy an Electra!
Not that there's anything wrong with Electras, I was looking at one myself, but really!
Comparing my bike to a beach cruiser!
How insulting!
Sort of.
So I went over and knocked on the door of The Flat Tire Department of Diplomatic Services and got some advice.
Dude, I wrote, don't even bother!
I paused for effect.
This bike is way too good for you!
You will get on this bike and it will crush your soul!
Sure you'll get compliments on it, but folks will laugh behind your back as you mash away at like ten miles per hour.
Your skinny little legs will never fulfill the potential of this bike so you should just stop fantasizing about it and just stop bothering me!
Seriously, this bike is black and nasty and you sound more like pink and good natured.
Forget it!
I wouldn't sell it to you if you offered me double!
In cash!
Okay wait.
Not really.
I would sell it to him if he offered my twice what I was asking and I'd tell him he looked good on it as he rode away.
I mean if the dude wants to give me double, hell I'll deliver it and adjust the freakin seat!
Okay wait.
Now it's me that's fantasizing.
In the end, I wrote him a nice email explaining how he should ride my bike before making any kind of decisions and to think hard about the kind of riding he is going to do and to make sure the bike fits his needs.
See.
I can be nice when I try.
Sort of.
Oh and the bike?
Yes, I still have it and it's still for sale.
Maybe.

EDIT:
I just got an email from the guy about my bike.
Just in case he's reading this:
Dude, the character in the post above is ficticious and any resemblance is purely coincidental.