Wednesday, March 2, 2011


You hear that sound?
That's the sound of the dust settling.
That one hellacious whirling dervish of a spending tornado that blew through here is gone.
It was outta control man!
Stuff was flying all over the creation!
The money was flowing like water through a sieve.
Just doing what I can to help out the economy don't you know.
Lemme dust off the ole pocket book and see what's left.
So I'm sitting here, watching Law & Order, USA Marathon style, and thinking about just what went on here these past few weeks.
I mean it seems like it was just yesterday, I was tooling around, quickly I might add, on The Flat Tire Bat Outta Hell, happy as can be.
Then, then into my life came the scourge of a bicycle known as the Celeste Devil.
My life changed.
I set my eyes upon it and everything suddenly looked different!
Top tubes were like parallel to the ground, tires were all skinny like and oh my goodness, the carbon! the carbon!
The Sacred Colorado Cyclist Winter Catalog became my constant companion, a scripture of all things roadness.
A beam of light came down from the sky, hit me between the eyeballs and suddenly, I'm telling you, I saw the light!
The light!
The light blueness of celesteness!
Can you say amen!
There are times in life when we may stray down that dirty gravel laden path, but always, always we can come back to the smoothness of the tarmac and be saved!
Fear not!
For if you can make it past the evilness of the bayness, there is light and calm at the end of the tunnel!
Say amen!
Beyond the shinyness and carbon goodness and skinny tireness, there is redemption!
Can you dig it?
What you say?
Still covet the compact double and the plus one speedness?
Put your hands together and give me three Hail Super Records and you shall be saved!
Dig deep into your pockets and give, for there are others out there, less fortunate than yourselves, who need your help.
Dig deep, and as the Bowl of the Bling passes by, give what you can:

We must save those who still labor with only eight gears!
Some, heaven help them, do with only seven or six!
Surely some of you can spare an extra gear?
Or derailleur.
Give till it hurts!
Cue thunder and lightning:

Wait what?
What was I talking about again?
Oh yeah, the craziness!
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
If you know what I mean.
Can you hear it?
I think it's the mailman coming.


Big Oak said...

That looks like a mighty fine offering for the service, sir!

Steve A said...

Anything more than the right three gears is overkill. One for uphill and headwinds. One for the flats. One for downhill and tailwinds.

OTOH, it might require 10 gears to GET the right three...

limom said...

All I need now is my Madonna del Ghisallo medal and I'll be all set.

Trevor Woodford said...

Tutti lode al Signore grande Celesteness .....
Le ruote saranno presto con te ...