Blasphemy, Garmin Rip Off, and Splat!

Oh boy.
You notice there's no exclamation to that's not a good oh boy.
I started off late today for I was feeling sort of tired, but after a two hour nap I figured I better hit the road.
Very strange for once I got out, I was actually feeling pretty darn good!
Still, I took it a bit easy as tomorrow I have some souls to crush so I wanted to keep some in reserve.
My brother, who hasn't really gone out for a ride in I would guess over a year, is joining the soul crushing fest with my cousin tomorrow.
More on that later.
Okay!
Let's work backwards.
First the splat.
I splatted again.
One of them zero mph crashes.
I was in a parking lot coming out behind a parked car and hello! another car was coming up from behind.
Luckily I grabbed some brake and went from like 1 mph to zero in about 1 second.
Must be some kind of record!
The stopping part was fast, but it seemed like it took like two minutes for me to fall and hit the pavement.
First was the struggle to unclip, then came the inevitable realization that I was leaning to wrong side, and I was about to kiss the ground.
Splat.
I'm telling you, the reader, I'm gonna go to the park and practice falling on the grass.
I think it's better in this case to just hold on the bike and take yer lumps.
At least nothing gets damaged, especially the black alloy goodness:



That little ding hurt more than the bruise on my hand or the scrape on my knee.
Oh well, I got battle scars now.
Right after I splatted, I went across the parking lot for they had some kind of mini car show there.
Oh I know, I splatted cause I was distracted!
Of course.
Anyways, my trip across like fifty yards of parking stalls cost me like four tenths of a mile per hour in average speed!
I went from 14.5 to 14.1 in like five minutes!
The Garmin is ripping me off!
No wonder I'm so slow.
The last software update I did on the Garmin did something to the auto on/auto off function.
Now it turns off and on sooner, like almost as soon as the bike stops or starts moving.
Which means if I'm like walking the bike, like I was when I looking at them cars, it's calculating average speed.
I guess I gotta walk faster.
Finally, there weren't that many cars on display, but one did catch my attention.
It was a Jaguar E type, with some body modifications:



As I looked closer though, I let out a gasp!
Oh no!
If you look good, you can see the small block Chevy under the bonnet, or whatever the British call it:



I've seen a couple of these conversions in XJ6 sedans and such, but never in an E Type.
I've never thought much of those conversions but this, this is just plain wrong!
I'll bet somewhere some British engineers felt a disturbance in the Force.
The good news is that on the way back home, I was still feeling pretty good despite the blood dripping down my knee.
No doubt I'll feel it tomorrow though, so I guess I'll have to take it easy on my brother and my cousin.
Or maybe I won't.
Take it easy I mean.
We'll see.