Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sunday Early Edition

I have reached cycling zen.
Well okay, almost.
I mean there's still a ways to go, but I'm a bit closer.
That makes it not quite.
Complete I mean.
So I guess I lied.
Sort of.
I mean there's still this whole dream bicycle issue that I haven't quite settled in my head.
If there is such a thing as a dream bicycle.
Oh I dream of bicycles of course.
Many, many, bicycles.
Bicycles in all sorts of colors and paint schemes.
All adorned in alloy Italian blingness.
With Super Unobtainable Lightness of Roundness.
Mix in some carbon goodness, and you got some wildness of dreamness.
At least for me.
More on this later.
In the mail the other day, came part two of the Ultimate Training Guide to Bicycling Zen(UTGTBZ):

To pass part one of course, you must have an actual bicycle.
Italian steel is preferred, but not necessary.
Once you have a bicycle, part two will take show you how, step by step, to appreciate and realize your bicycle potential.
First, you have to learn Italian.
Okay, you don't have to be fluent, just learn words like Cinelli, Campagnolo, spaghetti, pasta, Dedacciai, and of course Cinzano.
I'm not quite finished with part two so I don't exactly know what a Cinzano is but I think it's some sort of defensive bicycling maneuver.
Oh, and don't forget your Campagnolo cycing cap.
This is very important for say it with me: image is everything.

Actually I'm not sure what Campagnolo means either, but it must mean "forged by the gods" or "really exclusive" or something cause not too many folks have it.
I'm sure I'll figure it out later.
Or maybe sooner.
So for now, I just have to learn some Italian opera songs and get myself a Masi and I'll be all set.
Well, I still have to check and see if down tube shifters and aero levers are a prerequisite.
I sure hope not.
So anyways, I'll be watching part two and paying careful attention to all the details so that one day I may achieve some kind of bicycling zen.
Taking notes and all don't you know.
Hopefully then I'll be able to hit like 50mph using the small ring.
Or learn how to rebuild those one piece cranks.
I also didn't know that to ride clipless all you really needed to do was tape your shoes to the pedals.
I'm sure there will be some kind of test later.
Out there, on the road.
There's one thing I learned for sure.
Be wary of folks wielding frame pumps.


Steve A said...

Have you turned Catholic on us yet and forgotten how to speak English?

John Romeo Alpha said...

Ciöcc: I cannot say it. I am stuck in the "ini" stage.

limom said...

Steve A., I must seek out the Madonna Del Ghisallo.

JRA, that's part of your graduate studies.

johnnytrashbike said...

how do you say leg razor in italian?

limom said...