This Bicycle is Giving Me the Creaks!

Again.
Seriously, if it's not one thing, it's another.
Creak, creak, creak.
A clinkity clank, clinkity clank.
Sometimes in this gear, sometimes in that.
What could it be?
This is sort of depressing.
Unless it turns out that my bicycle just can't handle the enormous amount of wattage my Constant Velocity Thighs(CVT) are putting out.
3.5 GAGILLION don't you know.
It's one of those when I'm spinning along everything is fine creaks.
It rears it's ugly head when going up some rollers or hitting the gas.
Then, at a stop, it felt like the chain skipped!
Okay, maybe it's the chain.
I mean I have no idea about its provenance.
How much mileage was on it and how old it was.
I sure hope it's something simple as that.
Creak, creak, creak.
Sort of sounds like someone flicking a finger at a spring.
Sproing, sproing, sproing.
Or maybe creak sproing, creak sproing, creak sproing.
I think that's a bit more definitive.
So anyways, I moved the seat back a couple of millimeters more, and it feels pretty good.
The bars don't feel like they are a mile away, and the controls are like right there.
Right there!
Which is a good thing for now I believe the Ciocc is a 51cm frame with a 53.5 top tube.
I think when I researched the frame I looked at an older site which gave the sizes 49, 50, 52, etc.
I knew it wasn't a 52, that had a 54 TT, so it had to be a 50.
Then I found the place that imports the frames in, Zar International, and they list the frames at 49, 51, 52, etc.
Again, it's not a 52, so it must now be a 51, with a 53.5 TT.
I know it sounds like I should know the size, but it's a bit goofy measuring this frame with the oversize tubes.
If you know what I mean.
At least now I'm pretty sure about the size.
Not that it really matters, at this point anyways.
My pedal stroke is different for now I can feel it in my shins, they feel all tight when I walk up the stairs.
I think maybe I'm using some glutes too, I can feel it when I get out of the saddle.
I don't know how to describe it, but my stroke has bit more forwards and down motion to it, unlike before when it was mostly down and back.
I'm also getting some numbness in my toes, so I know something has changed.
That and my legs don't seem to have the same amount of endurance as before.
They haven't felt like this since I first started riding!
Which I suppose is a good thing.
Hey! maybe my body is going to start creaking too!
I can hear myself now, walking down the stairs: creak sproing, creak sproing, creak sproing.
Thankfully Law & Order is on so I can just kick back on the couch.
I also got this, thanks to one of you folks, to keep me company:



I can read it and dream of the days when men were men and bicycles were bicycles and creaks were creaks.
Not creak sproings.