The Kewlade

Drink up.
You know it's good.
Don't worry.
I got more.
So says the advertising.
Wading through all the carbon fibre bicycle frames out there is like drowning in a pool of Kewlade.
It's all kewl.
Proprietary this, proprietary that.
Follow me!



This is like the bestest!
Unidirectional!
High modulus!
This puppy is like the mostest stiffest lightest frame ever!
Gulp, gulp, gulp.
Ahhhhhhh!
Choke!
Heimlich please?
Thank you.
I think I got it out of my system.
Maybe.
Custom carbon!
Oh my!
Sell the kids!
Custom carbon is like Ferrari is like Unobtainium.
It exists, just not in the same space as I.
Is that the down tube or are you just happy to see me?
My down tube is bigger, and bigger is better.
Yes, but can you slice through the air with the greatest of ease?
Wind tunnel tested am I.
UCI legal I am not.
Add some ballast.
You mean like this thing around my stomach?
No, not that much!
Well at least the frame is light.
Right?
The nano-nano Mork like stuff.
Mindy would approve.
Laterally stiff!
Yet vertically compliant.
Like a pogo stick.
Can carbon boing?
No, but it can explode.
Catastrophically.
So I heard.
Did I say it's light?
No, you said expensive.
It's all in the weave.
Drink up and believe.