Too Much Information

Is that possible?
Too much information?
I mean in today's interconnected world, where stuff flies through the air with the greatest of ease, where possibly everything is available with a left click of the mouse, is it possible to get too much information?
Wow.
I just figured out that Googlio will transpose anything I write directly in to French!
Merci!
le Connaisseur de la Musique thanks you!
So anyways, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Anyways, I don't need to know the intimate details of everything that goes on.
I'd give some examples, but that's just what I'm talking about: too much info.
Well, one example I can talk about is my newly acquired magical speedometer machine.
Not content with a simple bicycle computer, I decided that I wanted, no, needed more information.
Like where I was going and where I had been.
As if after doing the same route for like two years I needed to be reminded.
I might take a wrong turn and get myself lost.
On an island.
Well after the initial glow of getting a newfangled contraption wore off, I started to think about, analyze if you will, all this new information that was right at my fingertips.
Most of the information is useful.
Most.
I have to admit though, some of it is downright depressing.
I mean I always knew I was slow, now I can prove it.
Now, I have irrefutable evidence that plainly shows in no uncertain terms that I am slow.
Not only slow, but really slow.
Really really slow.
See it was bad when I knew I was slow, but now, via the magic of Garmin Connect, I can search out other folks, see their information, and confirm via comparison of data, that I am in fact, really really slow.
wow.
Yes, that was a lower case wow, not to be confused with an upper case WOW followed by an exclamation point(!) wow.
That was an exasperated wow.
I have discovered that I am indeed mediocre.
Boy, just when I was beginning to have fun.
Okay, not really.
About the fun part.
I mean bicycling is all about pain and suffering right?
Imagine the pained look on my face when I discovered that there are like women out there, women! that could pass me like I'm standing still!
Well okay, everyone passes me like I'm standing still, but now I have documented down loadable data!
For like everyone to see!
You know, if I was like a sneaky person, I'd take that Garmin thingy and take it for a ride in my car and download that info!
Hoo boy! I'd be like world class fast!
So fast that I'd make somebody else depressed when they looked at my data!
I'd make up some story like how I just got into cycling two weeks ago and I'm riding some old used bike, but I don't know how to shift so now it's stuck in one gear and I can't seem to go slower than twenty five miles per hour and can somebody show me how to get this thing out of second gear?



Okay, I don't know where that came from.
It just popped into my head.
Anyways, I was wondering if there is like some way to make my files look like my speeds are bit more respectable.
I mean besides riding harder.
All that information out there is just a bit too much for me.
It's all out there in plain view for others to mock and point fingers and to snicker at.
I can hear it now.
Hey Bob! come check out this dudes files! I thought you were slow, but this dude is like really really slow!
Whoa! Man, that dude makes me look fast! And I'm really slow!
Folks gathered around the water cooler at work discussing, no, ridiculing my slowness!
Getting an email from Garmin saying "Sorry, but your data is just too slow for us to put up on the website. Frankly, it's embarrassing. Oh and by the way, we want you to return the unit."
Huh?
"You're just too slow."
Great.
I didn't really need all this information anyways.