Poseur bike indeed.
I mean all this time, well last week anyways, I've been riding around on a bicycle wannabee.
A sheep in wolf's clothing.
Domestic beer in a green bottle.
Wine in a box.
Or something.
Here I was, out strutting my stuff, being all proud like and thinking everyone was all jealous of me and my new ride.
Little did I know, I was riding the scourge of the bicycle planet, the dreaded bicycle with the two piece handle bars, the E-1 of road bikes, the most talked about and most belittled bicycle of all time, the GMC Denali:
Imagine my horror when I saw that picture and all the implications ran through my head!
Not only am I slow, but folks may think I'm riding a bicycle sold by the largest importer of Chinese products sold in the US market!
The shame.
Suddenly, I felt very small.
Except for my massive Constant Velocity Thighs.
What the hell are you talking about Mr. Flat Tire?
What the hell am I talking about?
Can't you see the resemblance?
Oh the damage this does to my image and say it with me: image is everything.
Well okay, my bicycle does say Ciocc all over it like eleven times, but still, when you are flying past folks at the speed of sound, they only get a fleeting glimpse of the paint.
More on the speed of sound later.
So anyways, beside the poseur bike I was also surprised to see this:
Someone was selling a seat post.
No really.
Just the post part.
At first I thought that was really dumb, but then I remembered that some of them really old seats have the clamp built into the bottoms of the seat itself.
Well okay, I still think it's pretty dumb.
More evidence of the local Fail epidemic:
Ever pushed a shopping cart with a bad wheel?
You know, the ones the wobble and want to make the cart go in all sorts of directions.
I think they call that negative trail; all sorts of stability problems.
I'm starting to wonder how these folks are able to ride these bicycles in a straight line.
Better yet, how are they hooking up the brakes?
I mean seriously.
Now the last one has been on the eVilness for a while and I imagine it will be.
I really nice quill stem, pantographed with the name "Steve."
Okay, it's not pantographed, it's more like engraved or something.
Still, I'm thinking there's a pretty small market for a stem like that.
I wonder how long it take to sell.
So anyways, just a few things I've been amusing myself with since being ankleless and all.
Hopefully my ankle comes home tomorrow and I can get out into the sunshine.
If the sun is shining.
I better ride the Celeste Devil though, you know, just in case folks think I'm an impostor or something.
4 comments:
I don't know about the GMC Denali in the photo, but I remember wanting to buy one just to get the parts. You see, the Denali is the only bike I know of ever made that had twist shifters AND drop bars. It was ALMOST worth buying just to get the bars for my Falcon.
I may yet wind up buying one. It seems like a shame, however, to throw the rest of the bike away. Maybe one that got trashed will come up some day...
Why not just get some old grip shifts?
You know, that kinda of does make sense.
Grip shifters, I mean.
Grip shifters will not fit on drop bars. The Denali bars are unique. They split in the middle and are also the right diameter for grip shifters.
Checking Craigslist, the cheapest Denali is $80...
That's right, different diameters.
You could keep an eyeball out at yer LBS dumpster.
Or maybe offer the dude $40.
Or maybe if you know someone who can TIG?
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